Wednesday, October 7, 2009

King James V.2009

Here is one for the ages.

Brought  to my attention by Mr. Brandon Fessler, there is a movement afoot to render a conservative edition of the Bible via the Conservapedia wiki project.

From the Conservative Bible Project page (my comments are in RED for communism:

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:
  1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
  2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
  3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level [Instead of dumbing it down, make it less intelligent]
  4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".  [Wonder what the new meanings of "word", "peace", and "miracle" are...]
  5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
  6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
  7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning. [Jesus cast the money-changers out of the Temple, thereby eliminating a free-market inspired service]
  8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
  9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
  10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God." [Liberals are so WORDY! Eg.  Jehovah = 1 word: 1 substance.  That is too high a ratio.  Way to go guys!]
This article, written by a real live Christian lambastes the project, describing it as having "insane hubris" and says, "These jokers don't worship God. They worship ideology."
I find it amazing that for people who are likely taking the Bible literally, as in word for word literal, they feel they have the prerogative to re-translate that literalness to suit their own social belief system.  Pretty much exactly what they claim to be opposed to.
Before I fly off into the night, here is a gem:
Third Example - Socialism
Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification. This improperly encourages the "social justice" movement among Christians. [I clearly remember Jesus saying, "Give not a shit for the hungry, for they will be filled - after starving to death in downtown D.C.", and also "If you have two cloaks, better keep them both to yourself!"] For example, the conservative word "volunteer" is mentioned only once in the ESV, yet the socialistic word "comrade" is used three times, "laborer(s)" is used 13 times, "labored" 15 times, and "fellow" (as in "fellow worker") is used 55 times.
Etymology of comrade, from the Merriam-Webster dictionary: 
Etymology: Middle French camarade group sleeping in one room, roommate, companion, from Old Spanish camarada, from cámara room, from Late Latin camera, camara 
                                        Date: 1544
Good luck to them.  And to you too, of course!

1 comment:

  1. You know, I didn't comment on this right away because I just don't know what I could really add. Anyone who understands why this is ridiculous needs no additional commentary added to see why. The primary source is enough. I feel like any joke I make at the expense of the Conservative Bible movement would be like watching the Three Stooges and telling the person next to me, "it's funny because he hit him! Get it? Get it!?" Thanks for sharing this absurdity, my friend, so I may laugh and cry and be angered all at once.

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